December

The dreaded month of December is rapidly approaching, no matter how much I don't want it. Historically I have hated this month. There is too much going on because not only do we have both Christmas and Hanukkah, everybody's freaking birthday is in December. We usually have plans every weekend, just not in DE. Thankfully, the price of gas has gone down, or we would have to file bankruptcy just to get through this horrible month. This year, I am trying to change my negative outlook. I am trying to get over my intense hatred of the holidays.

But this year, I have a rare coping mechanism. I have ONE FREE WEEKEND. I refuse to travel this weekend. In fact, weather permitting, hubby is going fishing. I plan to spend the entire weekend decorating the tree, making dozens of cookies, and enjoying my children. There is absolutely NOTHING that will get me to leave the house. Each child will have the opportunity to select types of cookies they want to make and I will make my favorite cookies - Russian Tea Cakes.

I have pleasant memories of Christmas from when I was a child. A few weeks before Christmas, we would start making dozens of different cookies. We were home on Christmas morning and could open our toys without losing every piece. We could relax and hang out with our family over a breakfast of homemade pastries. When I think of Christmas day, I think of the smell of homemade stuffing cooking. I'm sure my mother doesn't have the same warm and fuzzy memories I do because she was working so hard to put the meal together, but it really set the bar for the perfect Christmas in my mind.

These days I have to hope for early dismissal from work. Then I have to run around and pick the kids up, load the car and go to my sister's house and pray I get there in time for dinner. Hubby does not get early dismissal, so he gets to miss dinner and is less than thrilled. Then it's a flurry of activity before we go to my parent's house for the night. Sometimes it's so crazy we forget to hang stockings. The only thing right about Christmas is breakfast. We have monkey bread (ok - it's not my mom's awesome coffee cakes, but at least it's fast and good) and an egg casserole. Then we rush around to get dinner ready before we have to run home to go to work the next day. It completely sucks running around like that.

But, this year I will put forth the effort not to get overwhelmed and try to enjoy the time. It's a tall order, but maybe I'll be a little less like Scrooge this year.

**************After I posted this, I thought about it for a while. I really sound bitter. I'm not really. I know I have a choice whether to show up for holidays or stay home. Once the kids stop believing in the magic of Christmas, I will stop traveling on Christmas. I can't put my parents in the position of having to choose which state they want to be in on Christmas while the kids are so young. I have stopped traveling on Mother's Day unless it suits me. Slowly I will regain control over the nonstop traveling we are expected to do. I'd love to host more family events, but that will never happen. I just feel the most pain in December.