Good bye, Verizon. See you in hell

Except we're getting Fios in about 2 years, and we have Verizon Wireless phones, and we kept the absolute basic landline. It took me 30 minutes to cancel the phone yesterday with Ryan The Tool. I told him what I wanted. He tried to sell me stuff. Every option he tried to talk about, I interrupted him and repeated what I wanted. I grew weary of this game and demanded a manager at which point he gave me what I asked for, cursed me (in his head of course), and transferred me to the internet department. It was 5:55 and those lazy idiots already had their phones turned off. They are supposed to be there until 6! The online chat person Ratchit called me Mr before saying he couldn't help me. I had to call them today and use the world's worst Voice Response Unit before I could talk to a person. The machine did not accept "I HATE YOU" as a reason for cancelling. Thankfully Ms Wright saw no point in arguing with me and promptly closed my account. I thanked her and let her know she was way more helpful than Ryan The Tool.