kind of a sad day

Today Karen would have been 38. All I could think about today is what she would be like today - two beautiful girls, a great husband, two deranged cats and a big dog. The American dream. Yelling for the girls to settle down while she's on the phone. Making me stay on the phone while she investigated a strange noise. Complaining her husband worked too many hours in the same breath as mentioning how many work people think he's awesome. All this while talking a mile a minute and barely pausing to breathe.

I think her birthday hurts more than the anniversary of her death. Birthdays are about potential and looking forward to what lies ahead in the next year. Yes, they get less exciting as we get older. For me it's always been an annual evaluation of where I want to be in the next year, 5 years, etc. But for Karen, it will always be a reflection on what could have been and isn't. The death of a dream is just as real as a death of a person.

Yes, this is a kind of depressing reflection. Today has just been that kind of day. Here's hoping for a good April Fools Day tomorrow.

Killing me softly with paint fumes, killing me softly

In December I became ill at work. My co-worker had to file an incident report and see a doctor. We became sickened by the stench of window paint primer. The guys finally finished our area and we got better. No more headaches, nausea or neuropathy. Fast forward to last week. I moved buildings. The new building hadn't been through the primer process. They started on our floor and we got sick again. This time, I didn't hesitate. I e-mailed the nurse and let her know we were getting sick and asked what the company would do to protect us. Then I asked for the primer ingredients. Now I want a lawyer.

The health warning on the primer label indicates that anyone with a history of respiratory illness should not be exposed to the fumes. I have asthma. Hell - this is Delaware. We ALL have asthma. No note went out advising that those of us with lung problems should stay home until they finish poisoning us. Not extra fresh air was piped in to push the poison out of the air. I am beyond pissed off at this point. I do feel badly for the workers because now they have to work weekends until the company can relocate us temporarily. I sent an e-mail (I don't expect it to be answered) asking why I was deliberately exposed to a chemical that could impact my future health. Next week should be even more fun.

If you don't know the words to the hymn, sing louder

Today I was in a beautiful church with a very talented choir. We were there for a funeral for a family friend who died on Sunday. He fought leukemia for three years and died from viral pneumonia. The services were wonderful and the eulogy was awesome. The songs were great and the choir was phenomenal. The lady behind us decided she knew several of the words, so she could sing too. She was loud, off key and stumbled over a few hymns. Every time she didn't know the words, she hummed or made up the words very loudly. I'm sure I will go to hell, but it was pretty funny. I also told my mother "May the force be with you" when we were sharing the peace. At least I think it's called that. Although my mother was amused, I'm sure that's another thing I am going to hell for.

Today I also realized yet again how strong the ties are to my old neighborhood. I haven't lived there since I was 5, but our neighbors were a tightknit group who still get together all these years later. No one lives on Stilwell Place anymore. We kids ran around the neighborhood in a pack and rarely got in bad trouble. Not sure if my parents knew about the ding dong ditch we would play when we slept over at Carrie's house, but all the pranks were harmless. All the kids came home for the viewings and funeral. While it was incredibly sad, it was nice to see everyone. My parents are keeping the family fed and more importantly, supplying wine.

Recent Pictures

I haven't downloaded pictures in forever, so these should cover the last couple of weeks. Work has stressed me out more than I've ever been in my life, plus we're moving to a new building. Schlepping everyone around for belt testing was not really that fun for me. But we did manage to have a bunch of fun. Here are the highlights. And yes, my son stuffed his t-shirt with his snuggie and fell asleep. Topping off the evening, he woke up to pee and PEED ON MY SOCKS. Two weeks ago it was the bath mat. Why the heck can't he turn on the light????

Happy MS Awareness week

I will be the first to say I don't understand MS. I just don't get how healthy people can wake up one day with tingling, eye problems, walking problems, and worse. I don't understand why every case of MS is different. I think the only thing I understand is we need to find a cure and restore MS sufferers to health.

Ivy has done an excellent job with educating me about the condition and I read her blog faithfully. I am anxiously waiting to see when she gets the call to be able to go through an experimental test. I think the test and perhaps subsequent treatment will help her.

This is MS Awareness week and I will now focus my attention on the MS walk in OC in May. The only thing I know is I can walk, so I better get walking for a good cause.

I own my car

I just clicked the submit button to pay off my car three years early!! Can't wait to drive it tomorrow to see how it runs! So very excited!!!!!

My blender is here

Poor Waring blender of no more than 240 volts. It was a faithful little blender for about 14 years. I am now the owner of a 2 horsepower Vita Mix. It can VAPORIZE fruits and veggies in SECONDS. I feel like Tim on Tool Time - so very powerful. S was even more excited that it arrived. He impatiently interrupted Trinks to let her know the blender was waiting for us at home. Trinks doesn't like green smoothies, so she really didn't care.

After I dropped Trinks off at Brownies, I raced in the door, opened the box and got the veggies out of the fridge. I threw in kale, spinach, spiralina, frozen strawberries, orange juice, aloe vera juice, a carrot, a banana, and flax seeds. Delish! It took longer to get the stuff out than it did to blend it smooth. S demanded seconds - strange little boy. It was amazing! I am thrilled out of my mind.